Movers

Mario Balotelli

I am a big fan of Mario’s and I expect him to feature in these articles more than once, but for the first one of the year, it is great to see him in the Movers section. Having attended midnight mass with his girlfriend, he put £200 in the collection tin. Earlier the Italian star had spent the evening at the Tudor pub in the suburb of Peel Hall, where he put a grand behind the bar. Despite not boozing himself, Mario — whose team were held to a 0-0 draw by West Brom yesterday — spent a good couple of hours chatting to drinkers and having pictures taken before heading off to mass. Karma really has helped Balotelli here as it has been announced that he and 34 year old Di Natale will be starting against the USA in Italy’s friendly in February.

Celtic

An Old Firm win is always great, especially if it puts Celtic on top at Christmas. Having trailed Rangers by 15 points in November, with two games in hand on Rangers, Celtic had won nine league games in a row previous to this Old Firm clash. Lennon gave his team a sense of belief that they can claw this back. With a shaky start at Parkhead, the team started to get on top and with Joe Ledley scoring the winner, it put the green half of Glasgow on top. It is now up to everyone at the club to make sure they stay there.

Tottenham Hotspurs

Out of all the teams in the top five, Man United and Spurs were the only two teams to get three points on the board at the start of the week. Even though United won convincingly against Wigan, Spurs have still got a game in hand over the teams around them and with the current form that they are in, they are looking good value to finish in the automatic spots for the Champions League. It will take a monumental cock up on their behalf to ruin their hard work.

Arsene Wenger

After the worst start in recent years for himself and the Gunners, Wenger has brought the team together and pushed them into the top five for Chrimtmas. With RVP in fine form, one can only wonder if this will be his season for Arsenal injury-free. If not what will Wenger do without a recognised striker in this team? That’s right, re-sign legendary striker Theirry Henry to the club on a two month loan deal to give RVP a rest for the back end of the season. Many people are questioning Henry’s ability as they believe he has declined as a footballer in recent years, especially towards the back end of his Barcelona Career. Only time will tell whether this will pay off for Arsene and Henry.

Shakers

Chris Whelpdale

This is the second time in recent weeks that many fans have winced while reading injury news. You have bad leg breaks and serious knee injuries but when you hear that a player has had his ball sack stitched up from a tackle the instinctive thing for any male moan and hold their crotch. Five stitches later and a padded jockstrap, he is looking to be fit for the Gill’s New Years Eve game, but I think Andy Hessenthaler described the injury best, saying it was “disgusting” before adding that “I’m sure his wife won’t be too happy either!

Howard Webb

Even the best get it wrong sometimes, and Mr Webb made a monumental cock up in the Sunderland v Everton. What looked like Lee Cattermole clipping Leon Osman in the box from one angle, Webb was right to award the penalty. However, looking it from another angle, and that angle being Mr Webb’s, it was fucking obvious that Leon Osman kicked the floor. Fair play to David Moyes though, coming out in the interview and admitting it was not a penalty, but Mr Webb, you should have really done better than that.

Luis Suarez

Banned for eight games for being racist, and then banned another game for the single finger salute to the faithful Fulham fans, Suarez is fast becoming one of the most hated players in the Premier League. With Dalglish having to put Andy Carroll up front, these two scandals could be the reason why Liverpool plays Europa League football and not Champions League next season. Personally, that would suit me as I hate hearing about those magic Anfield nights.

Steve Kean & Venkys

What more is there to say about the shit storm that is Blackburn? Steve Kean has not got a managerial bone in his body, and it has shown in his inept tactics and below par signings. To make matters worse, when you lose 3-0 to relegation and local rivals Bolton, one would really ask why he is still in the job. Owners Venkys have not helped the situation by keeping him there and not listening to the fans and getting in a manager who can help the team stay up and build from there. It is alright though, they obviously don’t care, which is a shame as Blackburn are a good club, and they and any other club with inept owners should not have their club treated this way.

(Editor’s Note: Written before the weekend’s game at Old Trafford!)

Andre Villas-Boas

Villas-Boas has had an indifferent start to his career at Chelsea. With many people question his ability, mainly the more experienced players, he has stated after Chelsea’s dismal 1-1 draw with Fulham that they are out of the title chase. Any manager stating this at half way point of the season is obviously trying to give his players a kick up the arse to sort it out, or actually thinks his team won’t challenge for the title. With three draws in a row and many of the bigger players said to be leaving in the summer, AVB is hoping that the paper rumours are true and Roman Abramovich is going to be handing him a £128m war chest to bring new faces to West London.

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